Words Without Meaning
by HeartsIgnite
Summary: Too many promises dishonored. Too many vows ignored. Too many hurts caused by words without meaning, and the pain only grows stronger. A one-shot divided into four parts. Angst. Character death. Originally written for the iyfic contest on LJ, Week 58 - Promises.
1. Past

**Author: **Michiko  
**Rating: **PG  
**Warnings: **Language, character death  
**Genre: **Angst  
**Summary: **Too many promises dishonored. Too many vows ignored. Too many hurts caused by words without meaning, and the pain only grows stronger.  
**Author's Note: **Written for the iyfic_contest on LJ, Week 58 - Promises. Awarded 2nd place.

* * *

**~Past~**

She felt foolish.

Foolish for looking into those sun-kissed eyes of his and actually considering a future with him. Foolish for feeling weak in the knees when she was near him. Foolish for letting him into her heart and for believing those _ridiculous_ promises.

Promises that he never kept…that he never even had the _intention_ of keeping.

She felt like a fool, indeed.

Her vision blurred with pain as she gingerly stood, cradling her injured shoulder. A dark crimson stained the _ousode_ she wore, blood pouring from the wound like a sinister decoration. She was torn, inside and out.

By his claws. By his hands.

_Traitor._

He had betrayed her. He had promised to protect her, to build a future with her.

Those promises were naught but deceit.

_Liar._

Angry tears, unbidden and undesired, welled in her eyes. She refused to let them fall. Instead she allowed the sudden hatred of him to consume her.

The next few moments passed by her as though in a haze, and the world was a kaleidoscope of distorted colors and images. All she felt was the anger, the hatred. All she knew was betrayal.

_Bastard…_

Suddenly she was with him once more. She gazed into his eyes one last time, and for just a moment, allowed herself to fantasize what their love could have been like. _Should_ have been like. For just a moment, she allowed herself to dream.

Then the dream ended, and she was back within the betrayal that was her destiny.

An arrow was notched in her bow. She raised the weapon, leveling it to that spot just above his heart. _Sleep,_ her mind commanded, and before she let go, she made one last promise to him and to herself.

_You will not die alone._

She released.

And another promise was broken.


	2. Present

**~Present~**

The moon was beautiful that night; nearly full and glowing, with a significantly prominent presence. It resembled a ghostly orb, hanging high overhead like a heavenly being that existed to protect the human world. Ayame couldn't help but be reminded of the night he had made that promise to her.

The moon had been beautiful then, too.

There had been a rainbow that night, arching down from the sky like a colorful moonbeam. There, beneath the curve of the moonlit rainbow, he had sworn to marry her, and she had thanked the gods for sending that rainbow as a sign of her promised love.

Little did she realize that some promises were made to be broken.

Like the way he broke his promise every time he ran off to chase _her_.

With a heavy sigh, she shifted her gaze toward the lake, watching the sky's reflection on the rippling waters. The moon and stars could easily be made out, and they made a lovely sight. Calming. Tranquil.

She needed that sense of peacefulness on nights like this; nights that reminded her of the husband that she should have had, but never would. The serenity of nature contrasted with the turmoil she held in her heart. Watching the moon gave her the soothing sensation that she often needed to carry on.

It wasn't that she had stopped hoping. Of course not. Losing hope would mean giving up the dream that she had thrived on year after year since she was a young cub. Losing hope would mean accepting defeat to _her_. Losing hope would mean losing her tribe.

They had been depending on her, she knew. They had been depending on her to wed him and by doing so, form a union within their packs. Thus, they would become stronger in ranks, numbers, and alliances.

But as each day passed, each day that he spent wandering off after _her_, the chances seemed less and less likely.

She refused to give up though.

Perhaps it was her naïveté, or the simple fact that she could not accept reality, but she would not give up on him. She would not give up on the image she had built of him, the image of the man she had come to love over the years.

She would not give up on her promise.


	3. Future

**~Future~**

She couldn't see.

The rain obscured her vision enough, but her tears just added to the problem. They filled her eyes and trickled down her cheeks, mingling with the purity of the raindrops. Her vision was too distorted to distinguish anything except the immense sadness she felt within her; such a painful, heart-wrenching sadness that made her want to burst.

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._

Her sobs were quiet this time, nothing like the loud, hiccupping sobs that she had cried when she lost her brother. Probably because she had always known, deep down, that she could no longer save him.

_But this…_

She shouldn't have needed to save him. She shouldn't have needed to hack off that cursed hand just so he could live. But the need had suddenly risen, and she had tried.

_Tried and failed._

Just as he had failed to keep his promise to her.

"You weren't supposed to leave me," she whispered brokenly, staring at the crudely fashioned marker with heartbreak embedded in her eyes. "You were supposed to _live_. You were supposed to _marry_ me. You _promised_…"

Her voice died as tears wracked her hunched form again. Her cries rose steadily higher as the grief built inside her, as the guilt overwhelmed her shattered spirit.

_I should have saved you._

_I wasn't strong enough...I wasn't fast enough…_

_I'm so sorry…_

Now he was gone. Nothing was left of him but a memory. Not even a wretched bead from his rosary. Everything had been sucked into the black abyss that had his name written on it by the hands of fate.

All they could do to honor his name was carve an epitaph on a pathetic slab of stone and stick it in the mud above an empty grave.

_Miroku_  
_Houshi. Friend. Brother. Lover._  
_Forever shall you be missed._


	4. Promises

**~Promises~**

It had been three days.

Three days had passed since their victory. Three days since the death, the bloodshed, the madness. Three days since the Sacred Jewel had been made whole and placed in her possession.

And he had lived. He had truly done it.

Kagome could not even begin to form the words to express her relief.

He had taken a nearly devastating beating, and had been so bruised and wounded and bloodied that she almost didn't recognize him when she found him. The silvery-white hair had been matted by blood, so covered that it had taken her two whole bottles of shampoo to return it to its original state. Both eyes had been hit and blackened, and for several hours, he hadn't even been able to open them. One furry ear had been sliced in two, and there were several gashes, holes, and gaping wounds adorning his body.

Three days later, she was still cleaning the blood.

She was putting it upon herself to assure that he received every bit of medical care and rest that he needed to recover. After all, wasn't that what she had constantly done since she met him almost four year prior? She had become so adept in the skill of mending wounds that her _Okaa-san_ joked about not needing to send her to medical school anymore.

She carefully bathed and set the injuries on his abdomen, and immediately turned to look after his chest. She kept one hand on the back of his head, rubbing his left ear softly to soothe the pain. Even with his hanyou blood, these wounds were taking their sweet time healing.

Kagome sighed softly as she thought about the past three days. Their small group had sacrificed much in order to win, and everyone was still smarting from the blows. Kouga, who had come to aid them, had his right leg severed in the middle of the battle. Luckily, Ayame had been at his side, and with her help, he was able to reach safer ground. Even Sesshoumaru had come to offer his alliance. It was a short-lived truce, of course, but the demon had been an irreplaceable asset. He, too, had not escaped unscathed. Young Shippou had done as best as he could, and truthfully, he had helped the group a great deal, having gained more experience and strength over the years. Now he was resting on the _tatami_ in the corner of the room.

But of them all, her heart went out to Sango. She had lost nearly everyone she loved during the battle. Kirara had died protecting her mistress, numerous tentacles piercing her through, and Miroku's _Kazaana_ had torn, proving fatal. Now the demon slayer was overcome with grief, and even though Kagome had shed many tears over the death of her friends, she knew it didn't compare to the misery Sango was feeling.

She could only thank the gods that her InuYasha had survived.

A single finger traced his cheek, one of the only parts of his body that wasn't too badly bruised. Staring at her nearly broken hanyou, she reflected on the blessing that he had been in her life and on their questionable future together.

Last night, he had awoken, and they had discussed what would happen after the Jewel had disappeared.

Propositions had been made, tears shed, happiness felt, and (finally) kisses shared. But the fact remained that, even with Kikyou put to rest and Naraku vanquished, their future together was highly uncertain. Who knew what would become of the well once the Jewel was gone?

Kagome had cried then, unable to fathom what her life would be like without him. Now that she knew him, how could she return to the way things were before? How could she move on?

The mere thought made her eyes well with tears once again.

As if on instinct, a clawed hand rose to her cheek. His thumb brushed her tears away, drying the wet skin affectionately, and Kagome's eyes snapped open to meet his own.

"You're awake," she whispered raggedly.

He gave a strained nod, the movement sending slight jolts of discomfort up his spine. "You're crying," he stated. "Why?"

The girl sighed, sinking beside him on the mat and curling into a fetal position. "Because I don't know what's going to happen," she admitted. "I don't know what the future will bring for us."

InuYasha gave a small 'keh' and shrugged his shoulders as best he could in his state. "So?" he questioned. "What's that matter? No one knows what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day. We just have to keep living through whatever life throws at us."

"I know…but still…"

The unspoken truth hung in the air between them, creating an awkward atmosphere within a few seconds. It was the uncertainty of what would become of them. It was the lack of knowledge of what tomorrow would bring.

But perhaps that was the beauty of it all.

"What should I do?"

His soft question sent a tremor through her, all of its implications assaulting her at once.

What could he do?

With a shaky sigh, Kagome lifted her eyes to peer at his face. "Promise me we'll stay together?"

A heavy silence passed between them.

_More promises…_

"I can't."

Her lip began to tremble slightly, signaling a coming onslaught of tears. "Why not?" she whispered.

"Because I don't know what will happen." Golden eyes locked on her brown ones, and she swore she could see his soul in that instant. "Because I don't want to make a promise that I might not be able to keep."

There. The truth had been spoken.

And in that small moment of honesty, Kagome felt her hopes crumble.

_But she understood._

"I know," she responded after a moment. "And it's okay."

He gave her a genuine smile, and through her tears, she smiled back. They had finally been honest with each other. The truth had been spoken without a mask of vows and promises, and as the sun finally rose against the horizon, Kagome knew that whatever happened, her heart would embrace the memory of her hanyou until the end of her days.

…_Owari…_


End file.
